We believe that giving our toddler chores to do is beneficial for her and us. Instilling the values of routine and tidiness at a young age will help her as she grows older. It reminds her that she is a part of our home now. While household chores for toddlers is a good idea in principle, there is a lot of thought that goes into the process of choosing chores for a toddler, teaching them how to do them, and maintaining a good routine with it! Read on for some ideas, tips, and encouragement for how to teach a toddler to do chores.
What are chores?
Chores are usually defined as routine household tasks. Some people call it housework, a cleaning routine, or home maintenance.
Why should toddlers do household chores?
Toddlers should do chores because it teaches responsibility at a young age. It helps them to have a sense of pride and accomplishment and shows them that they are a part of your household.
One of the goals that we have for raising our children is to help them become mature and responsible. And we believe that we should start early in the direction that we want to end up. If our one-year-old understands that there are expectations of cleaning or doing chores now, it will be a lot easier to slowly increase their responsibilities as they get older versus only starting when they are five or six.
What kind of household chores should toddlers do?
What kind of chores a toddler should do is dependent on a lot of factors including lifestyle, maturity, accessibility, and family values. This is something that we encourage you to discuss in weekly family meetings. Personal Chores and Household Chores are the two categories we break them into. The personal chores are things that they are responsible for because it’s their “mess”.
Personal chores include:
Cleaning up the toys that they played with
- This can be made easier by making sure they only play with a few toys at a time. Also, make sure that they have designated spaces to go to when it’s time to clean up.
Making their bed
- It doesn’t need to be perfect or even good at this age. Just teach them the right place for the pillow and how to pull the blanket up.
Feeding their pet (if they have one)
- We don’t have any pets right now, but having them know and remember to feed the pet at a certain time each day is a great habit to teach them.
Bringing their dishes to the sink
- If you’re not comfortable with them carrying dishes, have them carry the trash out, cloth napkins to the wash, or condiments to the fridge.
Throwing their diapers out
- If they aren’t in diapers anymore, they can throw out a baby siblings’ diapers.
Putting their clothes in the hamper
- Near where they get changed, put a small basket or box. You could also make it a game to see how fast they can get it in the box or how far they can throw their clothes into it.
I think that household chores are harder to give to toddlers because they are young and don’t always understand that just because they didn’t make the mess doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t need to clean it up.
Household Chores that a toddler can do:
Wipe down the stairs
- We have hardwood stairs so she will take a washcloth and sweep the dust off the stairs. It’s actually one of her favorite things to do.
Put away silverware (no sharp tools)
- I pull the silverware caddy out of the dishwasher and put it next to the silverware drawer. She stands on a stool to empty it. Bennett has taken the drawer out and had her organize it on the floor. Do what works best for your toddler!
Set the table
- We don’t give her the plates to do because they are glass. She will put silverware and napkins at each spot. If there are condiments with the meal, she will put those out as well.
Help pack lunches
- Bennett’s snacks are on the bottom shelf of the pantry, and if Ellanor is awake, she will get him a snack and carbonated water to put in his lunch box.
Fold washcloths
- Or anything that you don’t care about being perfect. Maybe finding matching sock pairs if your toddler would be up to that!
Help put laundry in the dryer
- When I am in the laundry room, I hand Ellanor piles of laundry out of the washer. Then she puts it into the dryer. If she does it without fussing, I let her press the button to start the dryer. That’s usually all the motivation she needs to be my willing helper!
Are there chores that a toddler shouldn’t do?
I would not recommend having a toddler do a chore that required a cleaner stronger than soap unless it was all natural such as vinegar. I give her a spray bottle with a bit of dish soap in it to wipe stuff down if necessary but right now all cleaning supplies are off-limits to her unless I’m right next to her doing the chore. (In the picture above of stair cleaning, she was carrying the cleaner down the stairs, but I was using it)
Also, we don’t make our toddler clean up her younger brother’s messes. Sometimes if I am running late or am overwhelmed I will offer her a special treat to clean up his mess, or sometimes I will tell her that she needs to do it in order to help us leave the house on time. However, cleaning her brother’s mess is never a standing chore for her to do because I don’t want her to grow to resent him playing because she knows it will become work for her. Even more important than having her do chores is her relationship with her brother.
How to get your toddler to do chores:
If it were easy, everyone would have toddlers do chores. It’s not easy initially but it is worth it. When you’ve decided what chores you want your toddler to do, decide when, where, and how you want it done.
Then do four things with that information:
Say it: During a family meeting or a time when your child can focus on what you are saying, tell them what you want them to do. Phrase it as a privilege and a positive thing because it is! Aren’t we blessed to have a bed that we sleep in and that we get to make in the morning? Or that we have silverware to eat off of? Explain that chores are a part of life. Because they are a part of your life and your family, you want them to participate in it. Define your expectations. How often or when will the chore be required?
Demonstrate it: After you’ve told them what they are going to do, show them! Teach them how to do what you are asking and have them repeat it after you. It may take a few days of you doing it together before you let them do it by themselves, or it may be a chore that you always do together.
Expect it: They may be little, but toddlers understand a lot. Once you’ve set the expectations for them, don’t make excuses for them. Train them into responsibilities so that they become a more natural part of who they are as they grow up. You will bless your children by teaching them how to be responsible. Obviously, have grace or them. It will never be perfect, they might be sick or out of the house, and they will have tantrums about the chores some days. Overall, expect them to do what you told them to do.
Encourage it: Praise and encouragement are good for the soul. Whether you are two, twenty, or way older. As often as you can, encourage your child in the things they’ve done well. Praise them for both their actions and their attitudes.
One last thing, I recommend modeling the attitude and behaviors you want to see in your child as they do chores. If I am grumbling or whining while I am doing chores, or complaining about having to do them, should I expect my child to have a more mature attitude than me? I aim to not be that way because I want my daughter to grow up not viewing chores as a burden. Be positive and grateful as you go about your housework each day. See what changes you experience yourself as well as see in your children.
Should toddlers get rewarded for doing chores?
In our house, we don’t give rewards specifically for chore completion. Praise and gratitude every time a chore is completed is important though! I like to be appreciated for the work I do around the house so why wouldn’t my toddler? You can have a reward system, a chart system, or even an allowance system that you could use to reward your toddler if you would like.
Our approach is that on a pretty regular basis, I try to remind our toddler that when we get nice things it’s because daddy worked hard for it. For example, if I make a special dessert one night or we go out to eat, I emphasize that we can do or have fun things because her dad works hard at his job for us. This has the dual purpose of reminding her to be grateful and connecting rewards with work. We hope and pray that this is one of the ways that we can teach her how to do chores around the house without grumbling or complaining.
We try to have fun things built into the week that our toddler knows she will get. When chores are not being done or she is being difficult, we will remind her that we do fun things when we are responsible and we don’t do fun things when we are not, this leads to the next question.
Should toddlers get punished for not doing chores?
How and when you discipline your child is a matter of your family convictions. If our toddler refuses to do chores, typically there is a time-out or loss of a reward, and there is an explanation that she is choosing that. We give her grace and plenty of opportunities to complete her chores and we praise her when they are done.
Chores for toddlers can sometimes be a controversial topic. It is easy to fall into the idea that we should let kids be kids. However, when we remember that kids will one day be adults whose lives will be easier or harder in some part due to how we raised them, it’s a lot easier to be intentional with what we train them to do when they are young.
Let us know in the comments if you give your toddler chores or had any yourself growing up. Tell us what we may have forgotten!
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